What's the best gift you can ever get a pastry chef?
Dentures.
My dentist told me that knee-slapper last Thursday, right after he told me he wants to surgically remove all four of my wisdom teeth and one more in the very back I cracked in half somewhere during a brutal AF Nile mosh pit a few months back, and wants to do so all at once. Judging by his reaction I think I'm the only person that's ever appreciated his humor.
Anybody else got any good ones? I could use a chuckle.
Here's a joke: invisalign are convenient braces for adults.
I finally got mine a few months ago. They are doing wonderful things to fix my teeth, but they TOTALLY SUCK. Cooking has become super-tedious, as I cannot even really taste food (especially a curry) without potentially staining them badly, or warping them (from heat); and mouth feel is of course totally gone. I'm cooking less and less because of it...also, I have to eat super-fast because they are supposed to be in about 22 hours a day, which doesn't leave much time even for three meals when you have to brush after every meal or drink (besides water). Argh.
~J
Comments: I'm short, a home cook, prefer lighter, thinner blades, and have tried dozens of brands over the years.
Invisalign is no joke! If you are having problems with losing feeling or other signs like coughing, tell your dentist as this could be serious. The plastic apparently leeches chemical that is toxic. The invisalign folk actually make an alternate formula. My wife had serious issues with those where she had to stop for a bit, see an allergy specialist, get tested, change formula, get the braces recast, etc. so an est. five month treatment (her teeth weren't too bad) went on past a year and a half.
True story, not a joke... so my wife's going back to school and was going over some of the posted assignments for the semester. One assignment covers the credibility of eye witness testimony and requires four interviews, two of credible and two of non credible sources. Immediately I start attacking the question, bring up the Shakespearean fool vs the politician and on and on on how the idea of credibility is mostly dependent upon juror interpretation and yadda yadda yadda.
My hot college chick wife responds with, "yeah, so who the hell do we know that I can interview on the matter of credible eye witnesses?"
I'm a fainter. I'm 6'2", 230lb with a buzz cut...it pains me to admit weakness but you pass out in a doctor's office once its a strange incident. Three or four times, face it man, you're a wuss.
Anyway, about 4 years ago I had a tooth extracted. The procedure went fine no problems and I was feeling ok after the fact so my wife went back to work and I picked up my kids, about 3 and 4 at the time and took 'em to lunch at Wendy's so I could have a frosty.
All the sudden like I got the cold sweats, my vision narrowed, the room started swirling, the ambient noise moved 100' down some hallway, and I started to sensation in my limbs. So here I am, my kids at the table and I'm about to pass out. I don't know what to tell the kids and time is running out but what I really don't want to happen is to pass out and have the authorities called and have to explain things to them to get the kids back. I try to call my wife but I can't work the phone. So I slouch down in my chair as low as I can go so maybe if I lose consciousness, I will stay in the chair and no one will notice.
I'm in a real panic in my head, watching my kids talk and eat...oblivious when all the sudden it is over. I get the chills but reality comes rushing back at me and I feel fine minus that fuzzy feeling you get from low blood sugar. Luckily, there is a hardly touched frosty sitting on the table right in front of me. Life is good!
There is a sequel to this story involving a surprise, failed effort to juggle a Topo Chico bottle, but that does not pertain to teeth.
